Usually I can rely on BWR to make me feel better about being an irresponsible person who occasionally (ok, maybe more than occasionally) drinks on weeknights, but he is not the slightest bit hungover today and I'm all alone! ALSO, we're not going to Greek Deli because everyone but me has too much actual work to do and doesn't want to sit around and gain weight and talk about debauchery. What is wrong with kids these days?!?!
Anyway, in addition to feeling like my picture (see below) should
go in the Encyclopedia Britannica (because I'm sure that still exists) as a visual depiction of "Deathy", I am currently dressed in someone else's clothes. I don't happen to keep an extra work outfit in my purse, shocker, so when I go out with friends who live far away from me in a place far from my home aaaand I don't make it back to my place of residence, I find myself in a wardrobe crisis come morning. The friend whose house I slept at weighs 100 lbs soaking wet, holding a Chipotle burrito...so the dressing thing this morning was mildly troublesome. To add insult to injury, she wears size 4 shoes (I am not joking about this...she has hooves more than feet really), so my only footwear option was the pair of heals I wore yesterday. They weren't comfortable the first day, they're not comfortable the second day, and they don't happen to match a single thing that my pint-sized, firecracker host owns. So, in case this wasn't made abundently clear before, I am a mess. I took rail tequila shots last night and ate one trough of queso on my own. I also played the dumbest game i've ever heard of, where everyone eats a package of sugar or salt for a reason that I don't understand...there's no winner and no prize, and everyone wants to vomit at the end. Oh and I nearly got my car towed, but we saved that shit.
Anyway, to make matters worse, my Girl Work Roommate (GWR) has been on the phone all morning, and her voice is legitimately making me want to hang myself with the chord from the blinds on my window. She speaks at the volume I would use in a crowded bar AT ALL TIMES, and she is seemingly incapable of forming a sentence that sounds like she has a command of the English language. I simply cannot deal with this shit in my current state.
If I don't write on Monday, you will know it's because I've ended it. If I do, you're in for a treat because my mom's entiiiiiiiiire extended family is coming in town for the family alcoholic's 90th birthday, and it's guaranteed to be a doozy.
A) I wear size 6 (sometimes a 5.5 in foreign shoes, but rarely)
ReplyDeleteB) I have your clothes folded in a nice neat pile to return to you next time we decide to have aformentioned rail tequila shots (sans sugar/salt/death "game" that really isn't fun for anyone involved)
C) I'm upset that blogspot gives me multiple ways to identify myself as a commenter and that the only one which applies to me is "screenname." I have twitter for Christ's sake, I'm not as a social-media-inept as the website creator's make me out to be.