The (third?) Revival of The Deathy Times Begins Today. Get on Board, Homeboy.

Dearest ladies, gentlemen, and various and sundry (<-- did you know that is two words...and. sundry? This girl thought it was one...insundry...for 25 years...glad we cleared that up...annnnnyway) other followers,

The Deathy Times has been hit hard by what some are calling a "recession." It causes those of us with jobs to work twice as hard as our forefathers did, and it causes those of use without jobs to be so depressed about the state of our finances that we can't possibly be funny enough to write blog posts. Fortunately enough for all (five) of you faithful readers, The Deathy Times has found new life blood, which has both provided a little extra something to the blog's fountain of whatever and promised supplementary posts, to enrich the quality of all of our lives. As such, we're back. Please, please try to contain your excitement.

Some (maybe four?) of you are probably saying: "listen, crazy pants, you promised me new life blood a year ago and it was nothing but a one-night stand. You shattered my hopes and dreams, and left me carrying my Spanx and my dignity home in my Michael Kors bag. Why should I give you another chance??" To you, I say: I'm super-sorr about the bag, but I didn't mean it and I'll try my best not to do it again. I also think that, given the new contributor we have on board at the moment, things could get really good....really quickly.

So now, I introduce to you the reviver of The Deathy Times, who has injected us all with a new fervor for hilarity in writing: Captain Cougar Train. Captain Cougar Train is, to be frank, a magnet to the silliest and floppiest cougars in the DC Metropolitan Area. When the captain blows his whistle, the Cougars come a-runnin' and the normal 20-somethings ladies duck for cover or make for the hills, lest they be trampled or torn to bits. The captain finds his ladies in all shapes, sizes, and corners of the burbs and city, and try as he might to fend them off, they either follow where he goes or send one of their compatriots his way. His stories are many and varied, and The Deathy Times will share them all with you. Starting.......tomorrow!

Because two posts in two days is a step towards righting a universe that has been without consistent Deathy Times love for so many months. Until then, hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husbands.

Love,

The Mayor