Fortunately, I know someone with more than enough time on her hands to produce brilliant/hilarious blog entries. She is my resident lady of leisure sister, whose commitment to all things entertaining outweighs mine and whose commitment to her 9-5 job is mildly less taxing. She spends hours each week seeking out entertainment and sharing her findings with her closest friends (read: anyone who might one day be interested in those things that she finds amusing). Many of the things in which she engrosses herself are legitimately educational/cool/enriching (examples: she taught herself a back bend and how to read Korean)...others are not (read on)...but you can't win 'em all, right?
Anyway, from the entertainment encyclopedia that is my sister's brain, I bring you S(e)oul Searching:
For over a year now, I have been battling (and succumbing to) an addiction. Alcohol? No. Cocaine? Yeah right I'm broke dot com! I am addicted to...
Korean dramas.
When did this happen? Why did this happen? Korea? Seriously? When did you learn how to say "I'm hungry" in Korean? How can you read what it says on the sign in front of Seoul Mart?
I will not answer these questions both because they are unimportant and because I'd rather maintain my ladylike demeanor and not divuldge too much. Let's just say the internet, specifically YouTube, is a very large place, and I cannot be held responsible for the number of hours I spent on it during Spring Break 2008 when I was alone in my hometown. WELL, ANYWAY...the important thing is that I have logged a fair amount of time watching these shows.
A little background info: Korean dramas are typically 16-24 episodes long. Second seasons are rare. They are basically like a mini-series with a complete story arc. This makes it possible to see many different dramas and to watch a series in succession. Have you ever tried to watch the entire Sopranos series?! Who has 100 free hours?! Once a drama ends, a new one begins in its timeslot and they change all year round. There are no sweeps and things rarely get canceled (they are sometimes shortened or extended depending on how good the ratings are).
Luckily, there are people who are weirder than me who take time out of their lives to not only translate these dramas (for free), but subtitle them (for free) and put them on the internet (for free). The Korean drama internet world is full of enablers of my problem. They also allow me to tell myself that my consumption of their efforts is certainly not as ridiculous as the efforts themselves (right?). PLUS, I'm not obsessed with Japan, so that means I'm not a freak (*cough*).
Korean Dramas are addicting in the worst way. They play into all the emotions and fantasies that any girl could ever have. Think of the eye-rolling you may have received from a guy when you told him how much you liked The O.C. or Grey's Anatomy because they were just so awesome. It's like that...but in Korean! There are a lot of funny cliches that are used over and over again. So much so that people comment on how well a very obviously illegal u-turn to get to the airport in time to confess one's feelings before the other person gets on a plane to study abroad for 2 years is used, rather than the fact that it was used.
This got me thinking: What if I based my opinions or cultural understanding of Korea solely on what I had seen in dramas? Well, it would look a little something like this:
(Disclaimer: I am fully aware that these things are not true)
1) I would think Koreans were very patient. People leave to "study abroad" or "work abroad" for YEARS (why do you need to go to Australia to study photography?)! When couples finally are reunited, they make it seem as though they have not seen each other for this entire period of time. Wait a GD minute. You're telling me that this incredibly rich guy who is financing his girlfriend's travels doesn't have the money for a plane ticket to visit the bitch? I guess not. Well, patience is a virtue (apparently).
2) Everybody kisses like 7th graders. Now, as an American, I am pretty used to watching people making out on primetime TV. Hell, our television programming is often one well placed throw pillow away from actually showing people bumping uglies. Not in Korea. Forget sex. Just forget it. The culmination of almost all dramas is the kiss between the two leads. Don't get me wrong, it's completely satisfying. Well, until I realize that they are showing this kiss from about 20 different angles and in each one it shows the same thing: two faces smushed together with lips barely touching and certainly NOT moving. What do you call that? A lingering peck? I don't know, but that's about as much action as anyone gets.
3) Rich men with nosey mothers often employ women to act like their girlfriend to get said nosey mother off their back about getting married. You're 27. You're hot. You're Rich. You're being groomed to take over the family business. Your problem? MOM! Oh mothers, they think they know best. They want you to get married! They want grandchildren! Thing is you're hung up on this girl from your past who broke your heart. Luckily, there are any number of good-hearted, down and out women that you can promise large amounts of money to in exchange for a contract stating that you'll pretend to date. Despite her strong morals, poor girl has debt (incurred by an irresponsible, gambling father no less!). She needs the money to keep her house. You, being the smart guy you are, know that your mother will hate this girl as she is not of good breeding. That's just the icing on the cake. The contract will always state that you crazy kids may NOT, i repeat NOT, fall in love with each other. This clause is obvi broken and you're a better person! (if I move to Korea, will this be how I can make my fortune?)
4) If you make a u-turn in the middle of a street in Seoul, you'll be totes fine. Oh no! I've just realized I love that girl! BIG OH NO! She's at the airport! She's leaving to studying business in London for 3 years! I have to tell her before she leaves! BIGGEST OH NO! I am on the other side of town! No worries Korean Drama Male Lead! You can just pull a U-y! There will certainly not be any cars coming, especially not during the day! I imagine Koreans are very aware that this angsty last minute move is likely to be pulled by any number of 20-40 year old men with a car in Seoul (depending on the distance from the airport) and drive accordingly.
5) If you trip and fall in Korea, your lips are likely to land on another person's lips. Most often those of the object of your affection. Careful ladies! Better learn how to walk in those heels, especially after you've depressingly drank a shit-ton of Soju, so as to avoid this situation.
There are any number of other things I could comment on, like women often getting transported from room to room by their wrist while they mildly resist or the vast amount of Man Tears (Man Tears? Oh! Awk! I G2G!). However, one thing keeps me glued to the screen of my 8-year-old Dell Laptop (my computer is old enough to be in second grade!). Each of these dramas follows my favorite plotline. A rich, arrogant, attractive man meets a poor, independent, strong-willed girl. They butt heads, they hate each other...then the good-hearted girl rubs off on the rich douche who, under it all, was a good guy after all.
Romance. Koreans. They know about it.
I could go on forever really, but I'll end with two things:
2) My gateway drug of choice is My Lovely Sam Soon. Enjoy.
<3>
PS I'm sassy and poor...which one of you hot rich dudes wants to send me to study abroad?
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