What the eff is The Deathy Times?

Welcome, friends, to the Volume 1, Issue 1 of The Deathy Times. This masterpiece is the brainchild of two kids trying to make lives in the sharty, regimented, 9 to 5 (ok...9:30 to 4:30, with a lunch break) working world.

Gone are the days of the mid-day nap and the Mexican Martini with breakfast. Gone are the two-hour breaks in between classes used for tanning, and gone are the days of football games on Saturdays and an utter absence of responsibility. We've given up the glorious college life in order to make something of ourselves, and we've found that that was what some might call a poor life choice.

While it was hard to adjust to at first, we've figured out how to at least show up every morning and use our sass to distract people from the fact that we a) don't know what we're doing, b) sometimes haven't showered since the last time they saw us, and c) will probably spend a large part of the day not doing the work we've been assigned. OF COURSE we read blogs and gossip sites and play video games during working hours, and while those activities and our actual work pass the time, occasionally it's just too boring to take. It's the hours of the day when that happens--when you play with a box cutter and consider (accidentally) poking your eyeballs with it because then you'd get at least a week off to recover--that have come to be known as the Deathy Times. These hours generally fall between 1 and 4 pm...when you've finished your lunch, and you don't really have anything immediate to look forward to...when the day seems like it will never end...when all you need is a little pick-me-up...when you understand why so many adults have drinking problems. These are the Deathy Times.

So, here we will attempt to create the life boost you've been seeking. Check out The Deathy Times every day, and find something entertaining to make you feel better about your life (or at least lol a little bit in your cubicle). Also, if you have a story about your life that you think might entertain the other goons reading this publication, email it to us and TheDeathyTimes@gmail.com, and we'll make it sound brilliant and post it for you. I think this will be a long, glorious relationship.